The Story of the Very Mysterious Poo…

Now don’t worry friends, this is not a story about human poo… although that is a topic of MUCH discussion amongst us Peace Corps Volunteers, I won’t gross you all out with that one!

This is a story about a mysterious poo. A poo that appeared out of no where one day. A stinky poo. A big poo. And above all… a very mysterious poo.

So I went to Levuka town today to meet up with the Agriculture Department to have them help host a workshop with the youth in my village to promote vegetable gardening as a means of food security and income generation. I left my house around 8 this morning and spent the day with my fellow PCV Alex enjoying an egg bun (bun with a fried egg, tomato sauce and 2 slices of cucumber) and fruit juice, sending off requests to NGOs about library book donations for our village library, and just roaming around town. It was the first sunny day we have had in about 2 1/2 weeks so we were enjoying getting our vitamin D levels up as well. This is an important aspect of the story. First sunny day means first HOT day. Especially in a house with concrete walls and a tin roof.

Well at around 3 I got picked up in a carrier after finishing my business in town and rode back up to the village with all the school children. We were laughing and giggling and some of them were falling asleep. They were all excited because we are meeting tonight at 7pm to start up our “Homework Club” for this school term. Well we arrived at the village around 4pm and I wrapped my sulu around me (because I was wearing shorts in town- again, it was a hot day) and headed home. I opened the lock on my door, walked inside and was greeted by the foul stench of something terrible.

At first I thought it was maybe the papaya peels in the bottom of my plastic bag I hang for trash- maybe they had started rotting. So I packed up my rubbish and put it in my bin. Still smelling the offending odor I put my bag down, and started taking my things out hoping it would dissipate soon. Well I dropped the newspaper that I had bought on the floor and as I reached down to pick it up, I saw it. Under my desk. In the far corner of my house, the farthest place away from a window or a door, piled up perfectly, the poo.

Now. Let me just take a moment to explain to you something about Peace Corps homes in Fiji… they are small fortresses. All of our doors have bolt locks and locks with keys and all of our windows have hurricane mesh (steel mesh with about 1-2″ spacing) nailed to the windows. I even have a half door, like in a old western movie and I lock the bottom half when I’m inside. The only way someone could get in is if they climbed through bushes into the windows over my kitchen sink which don’t have mesh on them.

Well this particular mysterious poo, as previously stated, was located on the farthest corner in my house away from all entries. There was no evidence of thrown poo, no smearing, spattering etc. So I don’t think it could have been thrown in. And no evidence of someone coming in over my sink as all the things there were in the exact same place I left them and those windows are small…

So this is my story of my stinky mysterious poo that spent all day baking in my house and stinking it up. How it became is unbeknownst to me. Maybe the spirits in this village are real and I did something to anger them… maybe a VERY agile dog took a leap through my window to do its business and left unannounced. Whatever may be the case, this is by far one of the weirdest, unexplainable things that has ever happened to me in my life. And I just had to share.


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